Rebuilding

I no longer look for you

in the people that I meet,

or trudge through memory lane

with bare tendered feet.

I no longer seek answers

in the chaos or confusion, 

or believe you to be anything 

but my own beautiful illusion.

I no longer need to fill this space

with weighted wishes or hopes,

for dreams that are held hostage 

morph into slippery slopes.

I no longer feel it’s either of our fault 

that our safeties turned to dangers.

We became what we always were,

and slipped silently back to strangers. 

I no longer look for you

in the people that I meet,

because I found myself instead 

amongst the rubble and defeat.